The Shipping and Handling Is Where They Get You

Crossposted at Conservative Badlands

“That thing looks great – I could really use one of those.”

“But wait, there’s more!”

“They’ll send me two for the price of one. Now I know what to give my brother-in-law for Christmas. Sweet!”

Have you ever wondered why so many As-Seen-On-TV products aren’t available in stores? It’s because so many of these gadgets do not stand up to closer inspection – the lack of quality would be immediately apparent if you were able to test the product in person. Have you ever noticed that the shipping and handling may approach the cost of the product – especially when they’re sending you something “free, just pay the additional shipping and handling”?

And so it is with the Obama infomercial. He did his best to convince us that we can’t live without what he’s selling. It all sounds great on TV. Better healthcare. More jobs, growth, prosperity, unity. And the enthusiasm of his studio audience made the pitch sound almost believable. But his proposals are not economically sound, and the added costs – the shipping and handling, so to speak – make an Obama Presidency far more costly than we bargained for.

For example, if you buy now, businesses will get a tax credit for creating jobs. Keeping jobs in America is a noble goal, of course. But you’ll be paying higher freight on those new employees, that will far exceed any tax credit you receive.

The higher minimum wage Obama is selling will have an inflationary impact on all wages.

The Union Free Coercion Act will mean you can’t easily fire those new higher priced employees if they don’t work out, not after your employees have been harrassed into unionizing.

You’ll have higher benefit costs, as your choices for health insurance will be limited to expensive, gold-plated plans. You won’t be permitted to provide an economical plan that covers only serious conditions. Instead you will be required to provide insurance that covers everything from flu shots to birth control to marriage counseling.

But aren’t comprehensive insurance plans – covering everything from major medical to maternity to mental health to preventive care – a good idea? Maybe, but it should be your choice.

You won’t be able to buy a cheaper plan that covers only catastropic issues, while you pay your own preventive and routine care out of pocket, even if it works out better for your budget.

If you don’t have a pre-existing condition, you won’t be able to buy a cheaper plan doesn’t them, or one that has a reasonable waiting period.

If you are a man, you won’t be able to buy a plan that doesn’t cover maternity care.

And as a special deal for the youth of today, the required uniformity of coverage means they get to subsidize the elderly and infirm. If that sounds like social security to you, you’re right!

Obama’s healthcare eliminates our options, and as an added bonus, he tramples states’ rights to determine how they will administer their own programs.

Act now, and the government will be rolling in cash after ending the Iraq War. Once in office though, I suspect (hope…pray…) the Generals will beat some sense into Obama, preventing a precipitous withdrawal. If not, we’ll be shipping more soldiers home in boxes than if we stayed in to win the war, and handling vastly more instability in the region.

Bipartisanship? Obama points with pride to how he “reached across the aisle” on the issue of preventing terrorists from getting their hands on nuclear weapons. Let’s ask our studio audience … “If you think terrorists should have access to nukes – raise your hand. Anyone? No? Wait, you there in the back with the pipe bomb…” When has Obama joined with Republicans on any issue that was distinctly conservative?

Unity? It’ll only cost you a little free speech. With the UnFairness Doctrine, he can shut down those nasty, partisan hacks on right-wing talk radio. We can have unity – in the media. But if Obama thinks he can shut down dissent, he’s fortunately mistaken. It may come as a surprise to him, but there are millions of informed Americans with conservative principles who don’t need Rush or Hannity to tell them what they should think and where to focus their outrage. Honestly, sometimes I find talk radio boring because they’re telling me what I already know. But that doesn’t mean the power of the Federal government should be used to censor them. I would gladly contribute to an UnFairness Doctrine Legal Defense fund, and I think others would do the same. There will be no unity. There are too many of us who know socialism is wrong for America.

Obama promises to review Federal spending line-by-line and cut programs that aren’t working. Ignore the earmarks behind the curtain. Buy now, and we’ll throw in more touchy-feely, purple pen educational programs.

Worse yet, there is no money back guarantee with the Obama infomercial. A government program is as close to eternal life as anything on earth, to paraphrase Reagan. Give Obama just two years with a liberal Congress, and he will wreak havoc on the economy that either cannot be undone, or will not be. Who in Congress would have the courage to roll back the minimum raise? Who in Congress would risk a career taking away health care benefits? And so on. Once it’s in, it’s in.

You are on the phone. You just got the total for your order, and it looks like it’s not the bargain that was advertised. It’s time to put your credit card back in your wallet and hang up, and sigh in relief that you weren’t suckered into the scam.

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